When I excitedly express that I am taking the leap of moving to the city for a year, this is typically how the conversation proceeds:
Me: “I am moving to the city in May! I can’t wait for the exposure to things like music, culture, food, events!”
Doubting Person: “Wow, that’s going to be a really long commute. Do you know how long the commute is going to be? Pretty long, sometimes over an hour...”
A giggle always tickles my throat and I’d love to let it escape, but I don’t want to be rude. I want to laugh for a just a few reasons.
- Yes, I know that the commute will be longer. Do people think I didn’t realize and consider that before committing to making the move? Yes, I am trying to ‘just leap’ more often, but it’s me, the girl who won’t buy a shirt on clearance for $6.00 unless I can reason in my mind, “How many times I can wear it? How many different ways can I wear it? How many pairs of pants will it match? Can it be worn throughout the year, or is it seasonal? Is it trendy or classic- will I be able to wear this for the next three years, or just this season? Do I have another shirt in my closet similar to this? Can I afford this?” Trust me, I’ve considered the commute! :)
- Will I really allow myself to believe and accept the excuse of time for not doing what I want to do?
The last question makes me ponder, how often do we use time as an excuse, a reason, or as logic for not achieving our goals? There’s not enough time, I don’t have any time, I ran out of time, that’s too early, it’s too late, the timing’s just not right, I’m too old for that, I’m not old enough for that... They’re all right there, we use them all the time (pun intended). Is it a natural defense mechanism to make ourselves, our psyche, feel less disappointed in our failure to achieve what we set out to achieve? Is it the lazy man’s excuse for not having to work hard towards a goal?
I’m not sure. I don’t have the answer to those questions, but I do know that I am trying to use time as an excuse less often. I do know that when something within my control doesn’t come to fruition, time won’t be my first thought as to why it didn’t happen. My first thought will be, “How did I contribute to this failure?” and “How can I make this goal happen anyway?”
I’ve always wanted to live in the city- it’s one of my little life goals. I don’t want to be 60, thinking to myself, “I can’t believe I didn’t do something that I wanted because it would have taken an extra hour a day, sometimes an extra hour and a half. I can’t believe that I allowed time to dictate my behavior, rather than allowing my dreams to determine my future.”
